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- Photo: Shutterstock, Helen's Place LLC honors speaking the truth and let the chips fall where they may.
Helen’s Place LLC Update August 28, 2024
When Kamala Harris said, “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face,” it affected many people personally.
Her statement raised questions:
There are those standing by a door waiting to be let in – sometimes crying, “let me in,” sometimes begging, “I’m sorry – please, please let me in,” “sometimes bargaining, “if you let me in, I promise I’ll be good.”
Many times, the person standing outside the door has no idea what they did.
Doors shut in many different ways, but when someone breaks your heart – won’t tell you to your face – goes behind your back – it’s better to recognize that the door has closed and you need to make a decision:
Are you a person who will remain at the door and never gives up?
Will you leave and never look back?
Will you wait patiently outside the door for a while and then say, “I can see you’re not letting me in, so I’m going now?”
Which person are you?
There’s the saying, “when one door closes another one opens,” but often a person must head down the road and search for a long time before finding the next door.
And the truth is – you may always love and miss the person who shut you out, or long for what might have been years after you’ve moved on.
But there’s comfort in knowing that when someone shuts the door on you – shuns you, hangs up on you, doesn’t see that they did anything to hurt you – that if you did return they would likely do it again.
You might mull over why – why would they do this?
Because a person who shuts you out is just not into you enough to stop doing it. In fact, they may chastise you for bringing up the subject in the first place. Your care and well-being is not on their radar screen, or they lack the ability to see you.
This is why when a person shuts you out there can be no healing of the relationship until such time that the person recognizes and acknowledges the incident(s) happened with an apology and commitment to stop it. Otherwise, the repeat pattern becomes a festering wound.
When a person denies that anything happened or it’s “all in your head,” or “untrue or exaggerated,” or “they don’t want to talk about it,” – there can be no reconciliation, and you are repeatedly stunned into silence. You might as well talk to the door.
So for those with the ability to see the pattern and go, rather than continue standing by the door – good for you! And for those still standing there – consider getting busy outside the door with your own life.
Chances are that the person who won’t let you in will not even notice that you’ve left emotionally.
The bottom line is that a good friend never shuts you out or the door on you, always gets back to you, and meets you halfway in a disagreement. They always want to see the best in you and not your faults.
They do not pounce – waiting for you to make a mistake so they can stop talking to you.
A true friend wants to talk to you straight to your face, expresses happiness that you’re in their life, asks after what you’re working on, and genuinely is interested in you.
A wise grandmother once said, “never go to bed mad, always get a good night’s sleep and try again in the morning to resolve any conflict after sleeping on it.”
Hold fast to these words and people who honor them, and remember that when someone shuts you out – it’s okay to leave.
Related audio/video recording:
Video of Kamala Harris’ first rally in Atlanta GA on July 30, 2024, with “Say it to my face” quote:
YouTube, Associated Press, Kamala Harris Speech, July 30, 2024
Other related article you may be interested in:
Helen’s Place provides useful tips for how to recognize fraud:
Helen’s Place LLC, July 30, 2023, “Watching Hypocrisy: The Easiest Way to Spot a Fraud.”
Helen’s Place LLC is an information and educational materials company celebrating English Language Arts, Cognitive Science and the love of birds.
It’s the maker of printed instructional, educational, and teaching materials for children and adults in the field of English Language Arts and Cognitive Science.
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