Helen’s Place LLC Update: July 7, 2022
If you’re a young person and have ever watched the movie, Mystic River, you may have come away with the realization that people generally don’t escape their upbringing unless they consciously decide a course of action to break out of it. Are you one of these people?
If you grow-up, for example, in an abusive household, you’re likely to learn the same behavior pattern, unless you recognize it and figure out what you’ll do instead every time you feel violent yourself.
Constructive action can be self-taught, and if you’re able to do it, you can change your life.
Unfortunately, most people don’t figure this out, and fewer still figure this out from a very young age. Consider that even if the deck is stacked against you, there’s always the chance that you can find your way out, even if the likelihood is less than one percent.
You’re half-way there if you see a destructive pattern and start acting in ways to get out of it as soon as you recognize it.
You’ve got nothing to lose to think that someone’s going to be the one-percenter so it might as well be you!
To resist destructive family or peer pressure, you may have to go it alone while pretending that you’re not, until you can physically move away from your current environment. Get together whatever resources you can, like money or a car.
It’s not necessary to tell anyone you plans, but if you have a siblings or friends you trust to “dream big” with, it’s better to have support.
Keep looking for role models to look up to who escaped from their bad situation and achieved greatness. The story of the singer Tina Turner comes to mind.
If you’re in high school, and under 18, see a school counselor for advice and referrals to a safehouse in case you have to flee to get somewhere to finish high school. If your situation is so bad that you could get injured, killed, or pulled into a criminal event, you have to plan to get out immediately.
Keep tip lines handy – Call 911 for emergencies and 211 for referrals to shelters and other help. If your state does not have 211, then call the United Way at (888) 727-7211 or www.211.org for assistance.
If things are still not at a flash point in your home, learn everything practical available to you – learn to type, fix a car, how to cook – especially how to make soup.
Take a financial class and open a bank account with a large, U.S. bank, like First National Bank of Omaha, NE, and get a credit and/or debit card through the same bank at the time you open an account.
If you’re able to stay in high school, get in a school-to-work program and work to save money to buy a cheap, well-running car. Go to a clinic or Planned Parenthood and get contraceptives.
If you want to go to college, apply to colleges away from your town, and apply to every scholarship program you can find.
If you don’t have the resources to go to college or don’t want to, once you’ve finished high school or are over 18, the next step is to get a job that pays relocation expenses and get to the new job wherever it is in the U.S. as far away from your bad situation as possible. Make sure you’ve found a legitimate job, with a reputable company before taking it.
Get out – do not stay one minute longer than you have to in a bad situation!
When you get to your new job, find a room to rent, or roommates until you save up enough to get your own place. If you don’t have a car, take a bus, mass transit or Uber to get to work. Take time to heal from your childhood trauma and get stable.
When you’re ready, you can take college courses at a junior college and pursue your next challenge after surviving your childhood.
Maintain lifelong vigilance not to fall into a negative family pattern again, but if you do, get out of it, dust yourself off and try again.
Disappointment is just a roadblock to get around, so grieve for your losses and move on.
Don’t blame anyone for your past. It’s better to accept what happened to you as part of who you are, and then focus on your present moment and where you’re headed next.
Related audio/video recording:
You just never know what leads to what:
YouTube, “Making the Most of a Bad Situation”
Related Inspirational stories you might be interested in:
The story of a famous chess player who escaped her life growing up:
Helen’s Place LLC, “Inspiration – The Story of Phiona Mutesi and Her Great Escape”
More Information you may be interested in:
Healthline, “When Family Becomes Toxic”
Your comments are greatly appreciated. Send them to Helen’s Place LLC via email to info@helensplacenet.com.
